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Valuing Your Independence: A Journey to Self-Empowerment

Independence is a powerful concept, evoking images of freedom, self-reliance, and the ability to shape your destiny. Whether it is achieving financial independence, emotional autonomy, or breaking free from limiting beliefs, claiming your independence is a transformative journey.

Here is a guide to embarking on this empowering path:

1. Understand What Independence Means to You

Independence is subjective. For some, it might be about living alone and managing their finances. For others, it could involve making decisions without relying on others’ opinions or external approval. Reflect on what independence means to you personally. Define it clearly for you and your journey.

2. Assess Your Current Situation

Take an honest look at your current state. What areas of your life do you feel dependent on others or external factors? This could be financial dependence, emotional reliance, or even dependence on certain habits and routines. Identifying these areas is the first step toward addressing them.

3. Set Clear Goals

Once you have a clear understanding of what independence means to you and where you currently stand, set specific, achievable goals. These goals should be aligned with your vision of independence. For example, if financial independence is your aim, a goal could be to save a certain amount of money or reduce debt by a specific percentage, and by a certain date.

4. Educate Yourself and Always Be Learning

Knowledge is a powerful tool in claiming your independence. If your goal is financial independence, educate yourself on personal finance, investment strategies, and budgeting. If emotional independence is your focus, learn about self-care practices, emotional intelligence, and coping mechanisms. The more informed you are, the better equipped you will be to make decisions that support your independence.

5. Take Responsibility for Your Choices

Independence means owning your decisions, both the good and the bad. This involves:

  • Making informed choices
  • Accepting the consequences of your actions
  • Learning from your mistakes

6.  Develop a Support System

While independence implies self-reliance, having a support system is also helpful. Surround yourself with people who encourage and support your journey. This could be friends, family members, mentors or advisors, or even online communities. They can provide guidance, encouragement, and a safety net as you navigate your path to independence.

7. Take Concerted Action

Knowledge and planning are essential, but action is where the transformation happens. Start taking steps toward your goals, no matter how small they may seem. Each step forward is a move toward greater independence.

8. Build Resilience

The road to independence is rarely smooth. There will be challenges and obstacles along the way.

You may face:

  • Fear of failure
  • Uncertainty about the future
  • Pressure from others to conform

Remember, these challenges are normal and can be overcome with persistence and self-belief.

Building resilience is key to overcoming these hurdles. Cultivate a positive mindset, practice self-compassion, and develop problem-solving skills. Resilience will help you stay committed to your path, particularly when things get tough.

9. Reevaluate and Adjust

Your goals and circumstances may change over time, and that is okay. Regularly reevaluate your progress and adjust your plans as needed. Independence is not a static state but a dynamic process. Being flexible and adaptable will help you stay aligned with your evolving vision of independence.

Celebrate!

Finally, take the time to celebrate your achievements. Acknowledge the effort, dedication, and growth that have brought you to this point. Celebrating your independence reinforces the positive changes you have already made and motivates you to continue your growth.

For your consideration:

Take a moment to reflect on your own journey. What steps can you take today to claim your independence and live life on your terms? The path may not always be easy, but the rewards of personal freedom and self-realization are immeasurable. Here’s to your independence!

Okay, your turn:

Where in your life do you feel your independence has served you well, and in what ways have you made the most of it? Does your independence ever get in the way of what you would like to bring into your life? If so, what steps have you taken to move past the roadblocks?

I invite you to share your observations, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2024 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.

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Navigating the Competing Impulses of Success and Self-Protection

Throughout our lives, desire acts as a powerful force, as we infuse our goals with meaning and purpose. Our innate protection mechanisms often stand as barriers, though, hindering our progress and holding us back. How can we integrate effectively these contrasting forces and still move forward successfully? Let us delve into this interplay.

Desire for Success: A Motivational Engine

Desire serves as the fuel that ignites our ambitions, pushing us beyond our comfort zones towards greater growth. Whether it is professional advancement, personal development, or nurturing relationships, our desires are deeply rooted within us. Desire motivates action, fosters resilience, and shapes our visions for a brighter future.

We need more than desire alone to receive success. Strategic planning, perseverance, and taking inspired action steps help us to overcome obstacles along the way.

Protection Mechanisms: Navigating Self-Preservation

In a push-pull relationship with our aspirations, our psyche comes equipped with protective mechanisms aimed at safeguarding our well-being. These mechanisms, ingrained through evolution, manifest as fear of failure, self-doubt, or reluctance to step beyond what is comfortable. While essential for survival, they can also inhibit growth and progress.

Acknowledging these protective instincts is crucial. Awareness allows us to recognize when these safeguards get triggered and yet all the while appreciating their underlying motives.

Achieving Integration: Finding the Balance

To integrate desire and protection effectively, several steps can be taken:

  1. Awareness: Recognize when protective mechanisms are at play and understand their root causes. This awareness empowers us to confront and transcend these barriers.
  2. Be Thankful for the Fear: Rather than allowing fear to paralyze us, view it as a natural response to the unknown. Use fear as a motivator for growth and resilience.
  3. Practice Self-Compassion: Success often involves setbacks. Cultivate self-compassion to navigate challenges with grace and learn from experiences.
  4. Allow Vulnerability: Stepping into vulnerability opens doors to new opportunities. Take risks, acknowledge mistakes, and seek support when needed.

For your consideration:

Visualize it all working out plus visualize yourself taking the incremental steps to get you there. As with a GPS, allow it to be a navigational tool – guiding you turn by turn, toward your intended destination. It is both the journey and the destination that matters. And, remember to leave room for fluidity, for adjustments, if and as conditions change – you always reserve the right to make course corrections.

Living by design, with intention, focused and at ease, can be immensely satisfying.

In the intricate weave of life, balancing our desire for success with our inherent protective instincts is an essential skill. And, it is one that you can cultivate at will. By integrating these contrasting forces, we unlock our full potential and move forward with self-assurance.

Success is not just about reaching goals; it is about embracing the journey with courage and determination. I invite us all to navigate this delicate path with resilience and purpose, moving closer to our aspirations while remaining grateful for the guardrails that aim to keep us from harm.

Okay, your turn:

When have you found yourself fulfilling your aspirations consciously, and doing so despite the fears that inevitably arise when you are taking on a new challenge?

I invite you to share your observations, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2024 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.

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Gratitude

Gratitude

begets gratitude

It is cyclical

What goes around

comes around

Spiraling

until the lesson

is learned

and

appreciated

for what it is

and for what it is not

Clear

Confident

Blessed

For your consideration:

Taking a moment to step off the merry-go-round, what do you observe about yourself, your life, your growth? Any recurring patterns worth saving? Any worth discarding?

We do get to choose. It is all in the noticing.

Okay, your turn:

What areas of your life are evolving? In what way? When something ‘comes around again,’ do you reflect on what you can do differently?

I invite you to share your observations, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2022 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.

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Today is your life

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

This phrase, popularized during the 1960s and ’70s has a nice ring to it, indeed. A catchy phrase, so to say. It’s a way of reminding us that we can start fresh, start over, each day brings a new dawn. It’s the latter part of the phrase, though, that can be confounding. The “rest” of your life, as in the remainder of your life, what is that, exactly? It’s unknown. It’s the grand mystery. The remainder could be years, months, or an instant.

Today IS your life, yes?

Sure, there’s the unfolding. There’s the becoming. There’s the planting, the cultivating, the growing, the expanding, followed by the harvesting and the fruits of our labor. There can be beauty, grace, lessons, and meaning in all of these. Heck, many a Soul Notes article has been devoted to these topics. In my own life, and in others’ lives, I advocate for the process of envisioning, and easing into the flow, and merging with the natural cycles.

There’s wisdom in setting sail and course-correcting with awareness and intention. It’s not an either, or. It’s an all-in. All-in this moment. All-in with all senses engaged. All-in awareness. Now. And again. And again.

For your consideration:

Here’s another popular phrase: “We have time to kill.” If we’re simply treading water waiting for the ‘real’ event to happen, then what happens in the meantime? It’s ALL in the meantime!

As the signs say along the tracks of the London Underground: Mind the Gap.

Living with awareness brings the present moment into focus. Living without awareness is a life, erm, not really lived — a life suspended, like a tolling of a statute of limitations. Don’t be that person. Be you. All of you. All the time.

Okay, your turn:

Rephrasing the ‘the first day of the rest of your life’ into: Today IS your life — When you read this, what comes up for you?

I invite you to share your observations, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2021 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.

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Things we rotate

Things we rotate

 

“Rotate your tires”

“Rotate your mattress”

“Rotate your crops”

 

 

Evenly distributed

wear and tear

 

threadbare

tattered

torn

 

instead

 

tread

tread lightly

 

leaving a gentle footprint

and an easeful sharing and carrying

of the load

 

For your consideration:

There is something to be said about consciously evening out the wear and tear on something as much as possible.  It keeps it refreshed. It prolongs its life. It prevents undue strain on any one area or facet.

Take a moment to reflect:

What in your life right now could benefit from a little rotating? Sure, it could be your mattress (ha!), but what about different parts of your lifestyle or your life’s journey? Is there a particular area of your life, or your thought patterns or beliefs, that’s been stuck way too long in the exact same position?  Has there been so much pressure consistently applied in a single place, that it’s worn out?  If not physically, then intellectually or emotionally?

You’re at choice to do something about it. Can you flip it? Rotate it? Turn it upside down? Inside out? Even simply envisioning doing this can create a magical revelation for you.  Try it!

Okay, your turn:

Did you try rotating something in your world?  If so, what did you notice?  If you haven’t tried rotating anything, will you soon? 

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2021 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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From disciple to discipline

From disciple to discipline

 

Once a student

always a scholar

 

Disciple comes from the Latin for student

and Old English for scholar

 

Who is teaching

and who is learning?

 

A disciple:

One who follows

and yet who is leading?

Truly?

 

What does it take to lead

Or to follow one’s lead

 

Is it discipline?

 

A steady, consistent

grounded

follow through

in a way

that invites a welcomed result

without leaning too hard

on specific expectations

rather on beautiful outcomes

 

and remaining open to surprises

not unlike

the writing of poetry

or the reading of poetry

 

the writing of a poem

the reading of a poem

 

Did this take an unexpected turn?

Are you surprised?

I smile as I write this

I hope you do too

as you read this

 

Following

a follower

or a following-through

of sorts

 

Hopefully devoted

to devotion

or so it seems

at the seams

along the edges

then all-in

fully immersed

in the sea of wishes

and dreams

and with the continued discipline

to see them emerge

in their fullest

expression

 

And we’re back.

 

For your consideration:

What about following, or leading, evokes a stirring within you? Anything?  All things? Certain things?

For me, curiosity runs through me almost like life’s blood. It doesn’t waver. To try to stop it would be like trying to hold my breath.

Questioning, seeking, learning, solving, not quite solving, learning again, solving, not quite solving. Life offers a Rubik’s cube of possibilities.

Okay, your turn:

Would you consider yourself a follower, or a leader, or both? Are you always learning, studying? When do you turn from being a learner to a doer, to an experimenter, an explorer, an adventurer? Or, do they blend into one another?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2020 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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Messages from above

Messages from above

When birds circle

tightly in the sky

and lower

than usual

 

They are providing a message

to all who will notice

Wisdom

from above

 

Their circling is nature’s way

of bringing news

of a change

a mighty change

in weather

 

In physical terms, it’s their inner ear sensing

a change in barometric pressure

 

They don’t “see” the change

They sense it

They feel it

 

Their ease of flight

depends on it

They are uniquely sensitive

to anticipating the storms

and adjusting midflight

 

Whether or not

we pay attention

is up to each of us

 

Nature gives us signals

every day

 

Does it take a once-in-a-century

pandemic

to get us to pay attention

to the signals

that a mighty change

is on its way?

 

Will we adjust midflight

and circle up together

or fly in separate directions

missing the flow

missing the ease

the grace

the beauty

the natural

ability

to listen

from within?

 

Okay, your turn:

What does easing into a major change mean for you?  When have you benefited from paying attention to the signals and adjusting midflight? Where have you suffered from making no adjustments along the way, and instead struggled forcefully against the wind?

 

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2020 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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Diving into the uncertainty

Diving into the uncertainty

Diving into the uncertainty

certainly is

uncertain.

 

Would we really desire

for it to be any other way,

really?

 

How boring

if everything

we set out to achieve

or receive

Came to us

with 100 percent

Certainty

and in the exact timing

we think we wish for it

to materialize.

 

It’s the human condition.

Whatever that is

exactly.

It’s also the human ill condition

to expect it to be otherwise.

 

Why are we

so at odds

with

what is?

 

I know I’m not the first one

I know I’ll not be the last

to make this observation

about the human condition

and how ill it is

and how ill we can be

made

by willing it

to be otherwise.

 

Otherwise, we wouldn’t

be

human

Would

we?

For your consideration:

Perhaps each of us gets in our own way, sitting and waiting for something to change by our sheer will. It’s not as simple as merely changing our thoughts, as so many may suggest. That’s a mind trick in the worst way. It’s more a matter of shifting our entire body and mind and energy systems and devoting them to changing course.  Even, though, of course, there are no 100 percent guarantees. Many things can and still do happen along the way.

To use traversing by sea in a sailboat as a metaphor:  You can’t simply “will” the boat to move in a certain direction. You can’t change your thoughts from “let’s go over here, instead of over there” and expect the boat to change directions solely based on your thoughts. You need to make the necessary adjustments to move the boat in the intended direction, taking into account all the elements including wind, water currents, and the seaworthiness of the craft. So, too, with your own vessel, in your own life.

Even then, there’s always uncertainty.  That’s the thrill of the ride.

Okay, your turn:

Where and when have you spent undue amounts of focus and energy “willing” something into being?  Would you say that it helped?  If so, in what way?  If not, what was it that kept you from letting it go and redirecting your life force in a way that was a more fully embodied commitment and ultimate shift?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2020 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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Dream Theme 2019: Guiding you as your North Star

Using a dream theme as your north star

A star, a star, shining in the night…will bring us goodness and light. At holiday time, we hear songs that highlight the stars in the sky and how they lead us in holy directions and toward holy destinations.  They light our path, and lead us ‘home.’

Following your North Star is unique to you and an opportunity to create a year centered around what you feel most inspired by and for and by which you and your soul desire to be guided.

Around this same time last year, as you may recall, in Soul Notes we introduced the idea of a Dream Theme.  Did you select one for 2018?  If so, in what ways did it serve you?  Would you like to create one for this year?  I invite you to do so!

Just as the other stars in the northern sky of our galaxy rotate around the North Star, I invite you to allow a dream theme to help you by being your guidepost throughout the year.

You know how compasses work?  Compasses are designed so that the needle points toward the Earth’s magnetic North Pole.  The compass lets you know where you are, at any given moment, in relation to all points North. Technically, there are variations in the movement of true north on our planet, but you get the point. While the exact true North is somewhat fluid and always in motion, a compass remains a reliable tool to orient you when you are not sure where you are or where you may be headed.

Similarly, your dream theme can do that for you as well. It can serve as a guidepost.  When in doubt or uncertain about your next move in your career, your relationships, your health or hearth and home, you can always refer back to your dream theme for insights.

For 2018, I grounded into and made union my ultimate choice for the year’s dream theme.  The theme can be a word or a phrase.  It can be a noun (union or unity), or a verb (to unite) or a feeling (of united).

For 2019, I’m feeling into connection as my dream theme.  Accordingly, my year will be guided by my connection to the divine, and to myself, to my loved ones, to my community, and to my values and convictions. Yes, I’ll also come up with focus points and lists of what I desire to bring into form throughout the year.  And, I’ll likely have a list (or several) of action items for various parts of my life.  Those will be anchored, though, if you will, and stem from, my dream theme.  Whenever I feel off track, I’ll make the appropriate course corrections by consulting with my dream theme.

For your consideration:

Feel into what one or two or three dream themes are coming up for you, and allow the one that’s most strongly resonating for you to come to the surface.  If more than one seem ‘fitting,’ and you can’t quite decide, consider running them each through this short list of inquiries or ‘filters’:

If you were to select that particular one as the theme for your year:

What would it mean for you in terms of how you conduct your daily practice, your interactions with your loved ones, your clients, and your business or law practice? How well does it match up with where you’d like to see yourself headed this year?

Okay, your turn:

What dream theme are you considering to make your North Star for 2019?

Need help in coming up with your dream theme, or need someone to help keep you on track and moving forward consistently toward your own North Star?  Do you sometimes find yourself starting off on the right track, only to lose focus and then find yourself veering mightily off course?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2019 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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Why do we resist change? (Or, do we?)

Why do we resist change?

In this edition of Soul Notes, let’s talk about change.  I’m not talking about change for change’s sake.  I’m referring to those anticipated or even avoided changes that gnaw at us, and keep us at best distracted or at worst completely stuck, immobile, and hunkering down and ducking from opportunities that may expand us, help us and others, and even allow us fully to flourish.

Rather than resisting or avoiding change, perhaps it’s worth flipping it on its head:

What if instead it was a matter of welcoming and embracing change, in spite of, or even especially when, the outcome is uncertain?  It need not be reckless nor done with wanton abandon.

With, in many instances, hotly contested races in the midterm elections held in the United States this week, many voters heartily embraced a change in the ruling political party and a rebalancing of power among the three branches of government.  Not everyone held on for dear life to the status quo.

Some changes are certain.  They are taken as a given, without resistance: The ebbing and flowing of the tides.  The waxing and waning of the moon.  The rising and setting of the sun.

Stages and seasons of growth in nature:  those are accepted as certain, or nearly always so. Nature takes a certain trajectory, follows a certain course, pattern, cycle, movement, and rhythm. Of all the species, it is humankind that is perhaps the most not-so-kind to the natural world.  We are the species that most interferes with the grand design of this world.

It is we who inject and impose contorted calendars and appointment schedules into what is an otherwise orderly order.  We invoke what are for the most part arbitrary time changes such as “daylight saving time.” It is this imposing of our will over divine will that I would venture to say brings us strife and grief, and long-term suffering at the hands of fleeting, or even altogether unmaterialized, gains.

Maybe it really does come down to the invocations expressed in the Serenity Prayer:  Accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can, and invite in the wisdom to know the difference. For those circumstances we cannot change, we can still indeed change our response.  (See The Meaningfulness of Meaning here, referencing the work of Viktor Frankl.)

We are in control.  We get to decide how we respond. We get to take inspired action.  We get to adapt, move forward, expand, and grow.  And why not?  To stay stuck is tiring, uninspiring, and altogether dull.

For your consideration:

Is change something to be avoided at all costs?  Why or why not?  Does it depend on the situation?

Okay, your turn

Where has embracing change, even when initially it seemed scary, brought about improved outcomes for you?  On the other hand, when would you have benefited from accepting a situation exactly as-is, and had fully appreciated it in that moment?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2018 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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