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The other person is you

The Five Sutras

Yogi Bhajan, a master of kundalini yoga and spiritual teacher for decades to thousands worldwide, taught a set of principles that he coined the Five Sutras of the Aquarian Age.

They are:

  1. Recognize that the other person is you.
  2. There is a way through every block.
  3. When the time is on you, start, and the pressure will be off.
  4. Understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times.
  5. Vibrate the cosmos, and the cosmos shall clear the path.

A sutra is in effect a thread or spiritual knot woven together to serve as a fundamental truth. While seemingly simple, these five sutras resonate deeply. Each stands on its own. And combined, they serve as a comprehensive set of guidelines by which to live our lives.

This edition of Soul Notes begins a 5-part series, with each devoted to one of the five sutras. I invite you to explore them with me now and during the coming weeks!

 

“Recognize the Other Person Is You”

[Sutra 1, Yogi Bhajan]

Soul in One, Soul in All

“Aquarian consciousness takes you inside your soul, so that you can relate to the soul in all.”
-Yogi Bhajan from Aquarian Times, Spring 2003.

 

As spiritual beings, our deepest suffering may stem from our sense of separation from one another and from spirit or Source. When we get quiet, however, and realize that we are one with creation, we recognize that we are one with each other. There is no separation. Modern society often tempts us to see the separation, when it need not be so.

It’s in our nature to be connected, not separate and apart. It’s up to each of us, however, to recognize ourselves in each other.

When we see ourselves in the other person, and the other person in ourselves, we embody yet another of Yogi Bhajan’s most solemn teachings: “See God in all, or see God not at all.”

Take emergencies, or natural disasters, for example. Often, they “bring out the best in us.” We act on the impulse to reach out and help someone. Oftentimes it’s a stranger. We act out of compassion. We see our commonalities, and not our perceived differences. We are one. We are connected. We are an intricate part of the whole.

The blockbuster movie “Crash” (2004) attempted to illustrate this, from different angles, as it explored the lives of several main characters reacting to separate yet equally potentially life-threatening situations and conflicts. The movie’s title refers to a car crash, as well as symbolizes the many ways in which modern day lives often “collide.”

While the movie portrayed several conflicts and human (mis)perceptions we often have about others with whom we come in contact, it made the point that these arise in large part from our human tendency to see the separateness rather than the unity and connection we have with each other.

Despite the often fear-based walls we erect to protect ourselves, it’s those very walls which more often than not reinforce the separateness. It’s in those moments of heightened crisis, however, that we come to realize (or are forced to realize) that we do indeed have more in common as human beings than we have not in common. We share at our core, the same blood, sweat and tears. Yes. Truly.

Recently, while in the back yard with my dog, I saw my dog running toward the fence as she heard the postal carrier approaching our house. Usually, on such an occasion, my dog would stop at the gate and sniff under the fence and let out a bark or two as the postal carrier deposited the mail in our mailbox and proceeded to walk on to the next house. Suddenly, however, I saw my dog pounce on the gate, and (unbeknownst to me, as someone had left the gate unlatched) the gate swung open and within moments my dog was headed at a good clip right towards the front of the house, and the mail carrier. I heard the mail carrier scream as my dog was now on the front porch within feet of her, as she stood paralyzed in front of the mailbox.

I ran to the porch, secured my dog, and reassured the mail carrier that she was safe and that my dog would do her no harm. She was short of breath and managed to squeak out, “I’ve been bitten by a dog before.”   I felt her genuine fear in that moment, and told her “I know you’re scared, but please know that my dog won’t hurt you.” “I’ll control her until you have a chance to walk away from the house.”   The mail carrier took a deep breath and calmed down. In a moment of relief (hers and mine, quite frankly, as I was concerned that my dog could have been sprayed with mace), she looked me in the eye and with sincerity said, simply, “Thank you.” She walked off the front porch, and on to the next house. Crisis averted, and a common bond shared.

The challenge, of course, is maintaining that sense of oneness when the emergency, the crisis, the heightened moment-in-time, has subsided — when our lives later return to ‘normal’ — when we, I would say, have the “luxury” of allowing the thoughts of separateness to set up camp in our heads. The mind-centered “separateness” camp, if we allow it, creeps in and crowds out our heart-centered, compassionate camp.

This is where having a spiritual practice or set of principles (such as the five sutras) serves as a framework to help each of us stay centered and grounded in these universal truths. That is not to say that it’s easy, but to suggest that it’s possible. It requires attentiveness, consistency, and ongoing commitment. And, it’s worth it.

Looking Within…to Ourselves

“If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make the change.”

(Man in the Mirror)

Why wait for an emergency, crisis or disaster, to recognize and feel that oneness? Why not feel it now, in your heart, in your soul?

I invite you to carry that feeling of oneness with you throughout your day, your week, your month. May we each commit to acting accordingly – in support of our oneness, remembering always and in all ways: that the other person-is-you (and me, and she and he, and we).

Okay, your turn:

Reflect on a moment when you felt truly connected to another human being, maybe even a stranger? Perhaps you extended a hand, a helping gesture? Or, do you recall a time when you were the recipient of an act of kindness or true compassion? What would it mean to feel that, on a regular basis? In what ways have you recognized, or will you commit to recognizing, that the other person is you?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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When the phone rings at 3 AM…

That call at 3 AM

Yes, that one. The one that jerks you awake – the bolt straight out of bed when the phone rings – kind of phone call.  Some years ago, I received such a call:

In the jet black of night, I answer the phone.

“Hello, is this Lori Noonan?” I hear a man’s voice ask on the other end of the phone line. “Yes,” I manage to say while in complete darkness as I fumble for a light switch.

“This is the County Coroner. I have news about your brother.” I am barely able to register what he’s saying and what’s really happening. I feel as if I’ve fallen into a deep, dark, hollow well.

The Coronor continues speaking, and says rather matter-of-factly: “He shot himself in the head and killed himself.”

The voice continues, stating rather brusquely: “He was found out near some railroad tracks, in his car, with a gun. In his wallet, the only contact info was a card with your name and telephone number on it. So, I’m calling you.”

I try to keep my composure and attempt to process what I’ve just been told.

Without skipping a beat, however, the Coroner just keeps talking, asking me questions and rattling off directives.

“Can you call the other family members?”

“They need to be notified.”

“Can you take care of that?”

In that moment, all I desire to do is to ask about my brother. My heart and my mind go straight there — to my brother, out in the rural outskirts of town, in the dark of night. In my mind’s eye, immediately I picture my brother out there in his car, in his final moments, full of despair.

Why by the railroad tracks, I ponder. Was he planning to stop the car on the tracks? Was that his plan and it somehow went awry? Was he worried about injuring others on the train, and backed away? Or, maybe he waited for a train to approach, but a train didn’t come by at that time of night? Oh, but he brought a gun with him, though, too. What exactly was his plan, and how long had he been planning this? What were his final thoughts? Did he really see suicide as his “only way out”?

My mind jetted from one scenario to the next and back again. Meanwhile, the Coroner is still talking.

Suddenly, the voice on the other end of the line punctures my imaginings, and pierces straight through and into my mindstream. This is when I heard something that I hope I never hear again, and pray that no one else ever has to hear when receiving this type of news:

With agitation in his voice, the Coroner says: “Okay, I gotta go now. I’ve got to get off the phone. Half his skull is missing, and there’s all kinds of blood and mess that I’ve had to clean up, and I’ve already had to stay past the end of my shift.”

I had just been envisioning my brother in the moments before his death. In my mind’s eye, he was still out there in his car, and was still very much alive.   I certainly wasn’t prepared to have that image immediately sliced through with a proverbial scalpel from the Coroner. Envisioning my brother with half his head blown off, and blood everywhere – that was an image that I neither needed nor desired.

The call just seemed so very callous. It was not as if I was an objective bystander, a non-interested third party, a ‘passer-by’ learning of this, for the first time.

It’s 3 AM, and I’m now standing in the middle of my apartment with the phone in my hand, and I feel so, so alone, so very alone.  And, my heart aches so, so deeply, for my brother. It felt as if my chest suddenly had caved in on itself. Heartache, in that moment, was anything but a euphemism.

And, it hit me that I would be the one then calling and informing the other family members.

From the darkness out into the light

Now, my intention here is not to vilify Coroners. I realize that they have a stressful job to do. I just wish that he had handled that conversation differently – with at least a bit of civility, a modicum of compassion, an ounce of sensitivity.

This happened quite a few years ago, and perhaps training and call protocols have improved since then? Or, maybe this one phone call was an anomaly? I’m realizing that it may be helpful for me to find out. It may be time for me to reach out to others who are facing or have faced suicide in their family. It may be time for me to advocate on their behalf, and to help medical professionals understand their point of view.  I’m feeling that it may be part of my own spiritual path.

Answering a Call of a Different Sort

I’m looking into ways that I may be of service, and share my experience with those in the mental health professions, and medical personnel, and the like. Recently, I’ve learned that here in the United States, there is a national organization that provides educational programs and classes for staff members who provide mental health treatment services. And, this organization has trained presenters who present on topics such as “ending the silence” in schools, and out to the general public as a way to promote awareness of mental illness.

Is this part of my calling? Yes, it feels as if it may be. Perhaps I may hold a lantern — to shed light along the dark passageways – for those with suicidal thoughts, and for those family members who feel so alone in helping themselves as well as their loved ones through such travails. At this point, it remains somewhat undefined. I am willing, however, to explore, follow my intuitive impulses, and find out.

Okay, your turn:

Do you recall a time when you received such a phone call? What, if anything, could that person have said that would have “lessened the blow”? In what ways would you be prompted to convey such a message, if you are or were in a position to inform someone of such news?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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“So, this guy walks into a bar…”

A surprising (or, maybe not so surprising) conversation!

In this edition of Soul Notes, I bring to you a tale of two (spiritual) seekers.

After a networking event that wrapped up while rush hour was still in full force in Los Angeles on a recent Friday, I decided to wait out the traffic by taking a seat at the hotel lobby bar, and get a bite to eat. As I munched on my fish tacos, in walks a young man who takes the seat to my left, and orders a beer. We get to talking, and quickly I discover that he is visiting from England, and I share with him that I’m a “local.”

Early in the conversation, it becomes clear that this is not going to be any ordinary chit-chat. Way beyond anything as mundane, trite, or unoriginal as “do you come here often,” he turns to me and, in earnest, instead asks me this question: “Are you fulfilled and content?”

A not-so-usual question

I paused for a moment, let his question land, reflected on my answer, and said: “Yes. I am.”

What a wonderful question, I realized. What a blessing, as well – to be able to answer in the affirmative – I realized, right there, in that very moment. I must say that I didn’t necessarily know, at the surface level, that “Yes” would be my answer. A beautiful feeling of acknowledgement and gratitude bubbled up for me, however, as I realized that my answer was true – my truth – and that it arose from my inner knowing.

Each of us, of course, has our own story, and is traveling on one’s own path. And, I suppose we’re never truly “done” with the pursuit of the answers to life’s questions, meeting its many challenges and facing the various tests along the way. There have been many times in my life when I would have answered this question with an unequivocal, “No.”

I was moved, really, by so many aspects of our little interchange – including:

Wow, even for a longtime friend or loved one to have asked me that question would have been a bit unusual, let alone hearing it from someone who up until just a few minutes earlier had been a complete stranger.

How intriguing, I pondered, that he didn’t ask me if I was “happy.”

Fulfilled and content – now those words, then and now, too – resonate much more deeply with me. They carry with them much more gravitas and come across with much more texture to them.

There was a rich quality to his question. And, it drew both of us into the conversation at an even deeper level. It brought the conversation, dare I say, to a soul level.

Spiritual Seekers Unite

He also asked me if I considered myself to be religious. Jeepers, how did we get into this topic of discussion so freely and effortlessly? The way he asked it, the question didn’t seem intrusive, nor did it feel at all confrontational. While certainly having had my own experiences with formalized religion over the years, I would say that mostly I consider myself more of a spiritual seeker. I have been one for some 20 years or so, at least in terms of my conscious awareness of that term. (I remember reading Elizabeth Lesser’s book, “The Seeker’s Guide: Making Your Life a Spiritual Adventure,” and that title drew me in, for sure. I devoured that book and absorbed many of its teachings. To this day, it sits on a nightstand in my guest room, for visitors to enjoy.)

Quickly, I realized that he too was a spiritual seeker.

He shared with me that he had what he termed a rather strict, dogmatic, fundamentalist religion thrust upon him, which caused him great discontent. He told me that he has since left that religion. It was not easy, he said – but, he couldn’t remain in a religion that seemed to leave no room for interpretation or free expression. He did say, however, that he realizes that we are all here for a “greater purpose,” and that we are all part of a “bigger picture.”

The conversation then turned to our mutual love of astronomy and telescopes.   With his having revealed to me that he was from London, I shared with him my trip from a few years ago, when I headed up with a friend to the Royal Observatory. I was pleased to hear that he had previously visited Los Angeles’s own observatory up at Griffith Park.   This conversation just kept getting more and more interesting! We tied the cosmos to our own spiritual adventures, and we reflected on the wide range of possibilities.

I suddenly realized that we hadn’t yet really formally “met.” I asked him his name, and he introduced himself as Richard, to which I quipped that that seemed to be such an English name and a regal one at that. He smiled at my not-so-veiled attempt to be somewhat learned and okay, maybe a bit cheeky.

I could tell, however, that he really wasn’t particularly satisfied with his current life – and that seemingly he had been pondering for himself whether he was indeed feeling fulfilled and content — and that the answer was, not really.

Now that he had removed himself from what he felt were the tight reins of that one overbearing religious group, he wasn’t sure what was next for him. If it wasn’t that, then what was it he was seeking, instead? He’s still determining that for himself, he confided.

“I hereby declare tomorrow as ’Richard’s Day’”

He mentioned that he had the next day, Saturday, completely schedule-free before he would be heading back to the United Kingdom on Sunday. As he seemed to be feeling rather glum, I offered him an idea. I said: “Well, that’s perfect then, because tomorrow is “’Richard’s Day.’” I felt compelled to declare it so. Why not? Who needs to rely on the greeting card companies to designate which days we celebrate? Okay, so he did look at me a tad quizzically, but he soon warmed up to the prospect. We explored ways that he may wish to spend the day, on his terms.   “You get to choose, you know, right?” “Yes,” he agreed – and his mood seemed to brighten.

As I got up to leave and started heading back out to my car, I left him with this:

“Tomorrow morning, I’ll be envisioning you starting out on your big adventure, spending YOUR day as you like! It’s gonna be great!”

Okay, your turn:

Would you consider yourself to be “fulfilled and content”? And, what if you designated tomorrow as YOUR day? How would you choose to spend it? I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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Give us this day, our daily practice…

Why a Daily Practice?

First off, you may be asking yourself: Why bother with a daily practice? Is it really that important?

On any given day, many of us often find ourselves in the midst of busy-ness, chaos, and confusion. Life seemingly just keeps “coming at us,” right? Before we know it, we’re caught in the throes of life’s seemingly endless tasks, to-do lists, and responsibilities. They seem to arrive from all angles – from loved ones, work associates, four-legged furmily members, community, school and volunteer projects, and on and on.

Ah, so where to go for solace, reassurance, and a place of refuge from the storm? Sometimes the best way to use a refuge is to go to that place well before the day revs up its proverbial engine.

Daily practice is in devotion to you, and in turn your life, and to those with whom you come into contact throughout the day. I invite you to consider it to be a spiritual discipline as well. It’s a golden opportunity to connect with Spirit and to recommit to all that is meaningful.

The Value of Consistency

Consistent, regular focus and attention establishes a soothing, grounding rhythm. It builds and deepens, settles in, and at the same times expands and elevates your consciousness. You’re no longer simply “going along for the ride” in your daily life.   You’re in the driver’s seat. How empowering!

A little goes a long way. Keep going. Resist what may be an initial urge or temptation to stop, for no other reason than that it feels strange at first. Anything new will likely feel a little strange. Strange is good – really dreadful, however, not so good! Pay attention to how it feels – in a deeper sense – not just in a superficial, “I’m not accustomed to this” kind of way.

Feel free to experiment, too. Liken it to other ways in which you repeat something and fine-tune it over time. For example, picture it in the way that you would adjust a recipe: What makes for that perfect spaghetti sauce, or that perfect cup of tea?

Just as you would with practicing the guitar, or perfecting your golf swing, it will likely get better and easier over time, too. You will begin to see, feel and enjoy the improvement.   It will begin to feel more and more “natural” to you. Before you know it, you’ll likely wonder what it was ever like before you began to engage in a consistent, daily practice.

What are Some Examples?

A daily practice could be: meditation; focusing on your breathing; reading; journaling; or visualization exercises. Or, it may involve being outside or in nature.   What’s important is that your daily practice be done with a sense of reverence for the sacredness in it, and your self-honoring commitment to taking some dedicated time, just for you – to exploring what’s meaningful for you in your life, and how you wish to show up in it.

Feeling into It

If you’re just beginning a daily practice, or starting a new variation of one, allow it emerge. Allow it to come into being in an amount and degree of intensity that feels right for you. It should feel inspired, not forced.

Build slowly and consistently at a pace or intensity level that you can maintain. It’s not about seeing how quickly you can “get it done and over with” or creating a pressure-filled item to add to your ever-lengthening “to-do” list. It is, however, about honoring the time you’ve set aside for this, and sticking with it. It’s about savoring. (Envision a slow cooker, not a microwave oven!)

Another way to approach it may be to consider this: If you were to venture away from it – your daily practice – would you “miss” it? Would you miss the feelings, the centeredness, the groundedness, the solace, that it brings? If not, either change the practice, or step away from it. Set aside some time to get quiet, be still, and allow a new, more inspired practice to come forward to take its place. This is not something you do out of a sense of sullen obligation or worse yet, out of a sense of guilt…yuck! Turn back! Reconsider! Regroup!

Sacred Space

To the extent logistically possible, aim to maintain this daily practice at the same time each day, and in the same sacred location and designated space. It can be within your home or outside.   When traveling, bring with you an object or piece of clothing as a reminder of, and that holds the same sacred energy as, that of your daily practice back home.

For me, my daily practice takes place in a corner of my bedroom, with an altar and a yoga mat. Each morning, I light a candle, and clear my mind of any chatter, through breathing and meditation. Next, I’ll engage in prayer, yoga, reflection on my heart and soul’s desires, visioning or a combination of these.

If any or all of this seems intimidating, or overwhelming, relax and let that go. Allow any anxiety to subside.

Start with what is “do-able” for you, in the place and space that you are, right now, on this day. And congratulate yourself for embarking on any, or any new-for-you, daily practice! It’s a beautiful way to honor yourself and to take stock of the day and all the wondrous potential within you and all that awaits you.

A Spiritual Discipline – A Ritual with Meaning

When well designed, a daily devotional practice is an easily repeatable process that tells you, your body, mind, spirit and soul – that this is your special time each day – devoted to this practice, and not like any other time of day.

Remember, it’s helpful to “set the scene.” Light a candle, or wear a particular item of clothing. If journaling, have a particular pen set aside just for this purpose. Maybe you choose to sit in a particular spot in your home, or out on your deck, or on a particular bench in a nearby park? Maybe for you, it will involve taking a particular walking trail each day?

Approach it with a certain consciousness, deliberateness, and awareness. It’s surely not done aimlessly and out of a sense of “this is just my same ol’ routine.” It shouldn’t feel ordinary. Rather, welcome it as a divine invitation. Embrace it.  It’s as special and unique as you are!

Okay, your turn:

What is your current daily devotional practice? What feelings tend to arise as you participate each day? What, if any, patterns have been emerging for you, from day-to-day and over time? What are you noticing about your mood, energy level, ability to focus, and the like? Or, if you’re ready to start a brand new daily devotional practice, what are you choosing to incorporate into your day?

Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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