Tag Archive for: understanding

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Envisioning your desires fulfilled!

Are you ready for the new year?  Are you ready to envision your best year yet?  Let’s adventure together into the world of deeply seeing what your soul has in store for you!  On this edition of Soul Notes, we explore the concept and practical ways of visioning your desires into reality.

Why Vision(ing)?

Visioning helps you access information you may never be able to elicit through a quick ego-centered, mind-centered “checklist.” Visioning involves seeing by connecting to the unseen world. It is a beautiful, spiritual, nonphysical way of seeing – allowing you to gain insights, wisdom and guidance in a way that nourishes your soul. Visioning facilitates decision-making as to which direction to take next in your life, or with regard to a particular challenge, question, or inquiry. It helps propel you forward from a place that feels grounded, inspirational, and authentically YOU! Visioning ensures that your next steps come from a place of alignment, not misalignment. (For a refresher on alignment, and why it’s important in your day-to-day life, go here.)

What Happens if You Don’t?

When you don’t take the time to dedicate yourself to envision what’s best and next for you in your life, you run the risk of:

  • Suffering from the tendency to react compulsively or unconsciously.
  • Agonizing about making your next move (or making no move at all), from a place of fear or anxiety.
  • Engaging in seductively destructive behaviors.
  • Hiding under the illusory cloak of safety while life passes you by, and your dreams stay truly dormant and put “on hold.”
  • Proceeding through your next venture, juncture, year, or life chapter without even noticing if it’s right for you.
  • Failing to identify even what, if any, of the available choices, are even what you TRULY want, seek, or desire!

You can dive in and write a list of resolutions or mark out an instant action plan all you want. You can draw up blueprints for your year, and your life – but be careful what you’re drawing up.

During a drafting class when I was in junior high school, as part of a class assignment, I put together a blueprint for a house. Without taking a step back to envision what the house would really be like, I jumped in with my T-square and starting drawing. By doing so, I ended up putting a fireplace in one location on one floor, and another fireplace on an entirely different location on the second floor. Well, unless I was going to build two chimneys for this house, that could pose a problem! How was the smoke going to make it from one fireplace to the other and out the rooftop, if the flue(s) didn’t connect? If I had allowed myself the time and space to envision what actually LIVING in that house would be like, then likely I would have discovered the chimney dilemma. (My dad, by the way, was an architect and a builder, and right away noticed the flaw in my plans, when I showed them to him back then. He found it to be rather amusing!)

I remember around that same time period my dad was sent by his company to Japan to help build pre-fabricated housing. Before my father arrived on site, unbeknownst to him, the concrete foundation had been set using the metric measuring system. Here’s the catch: the pre-fabricated walls that were being shipped over to Japan from the United States had been cut in lengths that were measured using the British imperial units (inches/feet) system. As you can imagine, that pretty much defeats the purpose of pre-fabricated housing, if the pre-fabricated pieces don’t fit!

So, where do the pieces fit in your life? Where do the pieces not fit in your life? Do your chimneys, the hearth of your home, line up? The very foundation and starting place proves critical! So much of your soul shining success (or lack thereof) stems from envisioning, creating and drawing from the appropriate foundation.

In other words, resist the impulse to “jump in” and create from a place of “got to get it done.” That forceful energy threatens to bring with it a bulldozing effect that obliterates everything (including all the good stuff) in its path. That take-action energy has its useful purpose – but it’s best invoked further down the line, and in a more strategic, focused way.

Otherwise, the whole house (of cards) collapses. You feel overwhelmed. You feel pressured. You feel “forced.” You feel UNinspired. You risk facing unintended, adverse results.

It’s not about checking off a to-do list. It’s about allowing your dreams and desires to take front and center stage, and enjoying the journey as you experience them unfolding.

Is this year ahead, 2016, a time for you to move forward in envisioning and creating your best life? Are you going to allow yourself to spring forth into your fullest potential? Or, is it a time that by choice or by default (which really is a choice, by the way) – your new year ahead, like most New Year’s resolutions, sputters out and comes to a crawl or even a stagnating halt altogether?

Which is it? Claim it now, and if you’re open to learning more about how to get cracking, read on!

DARE TO DESIRE!

“I’d LOVE to, but I could NEVER…!”

First off, let go of any preconceived notions of what is or isn’t possible for you. Loosen up the reins! As you would when riding a horse, release your grip some, and allow for a good gallop!

A number of years ago, I had moved from an apartment in Los Angeles that was several miles inland, to a place within a few blocks of the Pacific Ocean. I moved to a building right up the hill from the beach front where they used to film the television show “Bay Watch.” [Okay, maybe that’s not the most spiritual reference I’ll ever make on this blog, but you get the idea! If this makes you feel better (it did me), it was also right next to a self-realization center. On September 11, 2001 (now known as 9-11), I went there to meditate — and I felt blessed to have the luxury of walking around their gorgeous, serene grounds, on such a tragic and deeply somber day.]

My commute to downtown Los Angeles back then meant driving along several miles of ocean front along Pacific Coast Highway. I could smell the salt in the air, and feel the sea breezes. From as young as I can remember, I had always enjoyed the beach and the ocean.  And yet, when I first moved in, and sat out on my balcony overlooking our shared swimming pool, I thought to myself – “Why did it take me so long to move here, this close to the beach?” I grew up in Southern California, and yet I always seemed to think that I needed to live somewhere inland, and then drive to the ocean. Somehow, I had convinced myself that only really wealthy people lived by the beach. I also realized in that moment, that truth be told, I somehow had been accepting the sad “fact” that I didn’t deserve to live in a really cool apartment in a tony section of Los Angeles. I didn’t think it was possible for me. And there I was — not only was it possible, it was happening, as I sat there on my balcony. For months, it still felt a bit surreal living there, and I found myself “growing into” an expanded self-realization of my own, I suppose you could say.

I would some years later again move on, and purchase a home (also something that for a long time I didn’t believe was possible for me in my lifetime) in another part of town. That apartment by the sea, however, will always hold a special place in my heart and soul.

So, the lesson here is this: If I hadn’t let go of the notion that “I’d love to, but I could never…,” I would have stayed cooped up in a stifling apartment miles from where I yearned and dreamed to be.

Envision what you truly desire, and follow those clues. There’s often something truly heart telling in there. That’s where inspired actions stem from, originate from.

Visioning also involves listening

Visioning is not limited to one or any of the physical senses. It involves all the senses, along with every bit of your inner knowing.

Visioning involves deep soulful listening. Through meditation and other guided internal processes, you can tap into your essence and true desires. Your guides are there for you, whispering to you their soulful wisdom. Are you quiet enough to hear them?

Commit to yourself and to the true desires in this coming year that you will uncover through this higher vision for your life, and enjoy the journey!

Where to start?

You may not know exactly, right in this very moment, if what you truly desire to create will actually end up coming into fruition — because you haven’t created it yet! You have had other experiences, however, where you do know how wonderful they made you feel. Accordingly, I would encourage you to use what I would call the “Yes, more of that, please!” test. What is your heart drawing you toward? What are you excited about welcoming into your life?

Listen to your own (intuitive) guides, and allow yourself to get quiet to hear what they have to say. They are always available to you. They are your very own!

Reinforcement

You can choose to bring forth what you desire, and consistently tap into and recreate those good emotions. Conversely, you can focus on and reinforce what it is that you don’t enjoy feeling.  The “Yes, more of that please!” barometer is always available to you, at the ready. Simply remember to invoke it. Consistently. And often.

Dare to dream.

Dare to desire.

Dare to vision.

Dare to make it all come true.

 

For your consideration:

What would listening to your yearnings and desires, and envisioning them into reality, mean to you? How has or would your life be changed upon doing this type of practice? If you haven’t done this type of visioning so far, how about giving it a try? What if anything is stopping you?

Okay, your turn:

When is the last time you set aside the time and space to determine what you truly desire? What is something you would like to see yourself bringing forward into your life this year? I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

 © 2016 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.

 

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Owning your own piece of PEACE…

Prince of PEACE: A study in contrasts

For many of us, this weekend is one where we are winding down from our Christmas celebrations and festivities. And for some, December has been a time spent focusing attention on Jesus Christ as the “Prince of Peace.” No matter your affiliation or spiritual tradition, however, I welcome you to explore with me here on the blog, this concept of peace, and of peace stewardship. It’s not of course, limited to a particular religion, or any religion, for that matter.

Are we not each a steward of peace, if we choose to be?

I realize that making this choice may seem too large, too assuming, nay even a completely hopeless notion, what with the seemingly endless examples of violence and strife – in our own communities, in our schools and movie theaters here in the United States, for example – and for each of us in various ways throughout our own countries as well as abroad. Perhaps.

I am awake to the endemic and pandemic:

  • Intolerance
  • Lack of understanding
  • Failure to empathize
  • Clinging to exclusion rather than inclusion
  • Perpetuation of separation rather than unity

I am also awakening to, and drawing from, however, the deep potential for peace that awaits within. It is available to each of us. We are at liberty to invoke it at any time. When we embody that peace, it cannot help but lend hope to ourselves and to those around us. Call me naïve, and yet, I am willing to carry forth this sentiment and from the point of realization that peace on earth really does indeed begin with me (and you).

I ask you to consider: What is your piece of the peace? 

Peace: It’s a moment by moment thing

This is not to suggest that it’s easy. Nor, am I suggesting it’s even plausible to maintain a sense of peace all day, every day. I’m only suggesting that we try. It’s worth our making the attempts, wouldn’t you say?

Admittedly, I’d say that peace is a moment by moment thing. I certainly don’t live in a state of peace at all times. I slip in and out of it, moment by moment. And yet, I may decide to bring peace to any given situation, in any given moment.

Also, peace may not mean completely free from conflict. It may, however, mean embracing a sense of gratitude, of serenity, of home.

So, to that, I say: Let’s create our own playful peace puzzles!

Ready to get your own peace party started?

Taking the letters of PEACE, I invite you to make your own peace offering – to yourself, and to anyone else who needs it. There’s no science to this – it’s art.

I’m not suggesting that these will solve the world’s crises. They may, however, provide a few moments of solace, and a brief respite and recess away from the disharmonious world around us. May they provide you the space to refrain from discord, and instead step out into the world from a place of peace.

Peace be with you.

Peace be within you.

Peace emanate from you.

For your consideration:

I’ll start. Here are three playful peace puzzles that I’ve put together for posting here on the blog:

Precede Engagements of Anger with Conscious Empathy

Preciously Embrace All Coziness Eternally

Proactively Entertain Abundantly Creative Enterprises

Okay, your turn:

I’ve left one blank for you to complete – feel free to do this one on your own. Have fun!

P__________ E __________ A__________ C__________ E __________

I invite you to share your own playful peace puzzle and any other peace related thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul! 

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved. 
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Remember, you have the music in you!

Yes, you have the music in you!

“When the night is falling

and you cannot find the light

…If you feel your dreams are dying

…Hold tight.

You’ve got the music in you.”

–The New Radicals, You Get What You Give

As we approach Winter Solstice in the Northern hemisphere, daytime shortens and nighttime lengthens. The natural world settles in for rest and rejuvenation before it springs forth at the next turn of the wheel. It is also a time of Christmas lights and Hanukkah lights.

This time of year is also one of carols, hymns, and other songs and types of lyrical merriment.  It’s also a time when the muse moves through each of us.  To turn a phrase:  As without, so within.

In this edition of Soul Notes, let’s allow ourselves to breathe in the beautiful music that surrounds us this time of year – and at the same time, let us behold the music that stirs within us. Music from the outside and from within:  One is physical; the other, metaphysical, perhaps? Spiritual, for certain.

As the year draws to a close, I invite you to take an accounting of the music within you that you have already “let out” this year, for all to hear. At the same time, consider this:

What music is still within you, that has been laying dormant, that is ready to rise to the surface and be expressed? What have you been subduing, that you may benefit from bringing forward into next year, and out into the light?

You’ve Got the MUSE-Ic in YOU

In Greek mythology, there are nine muses, all dedicated to and presiding over the arts and sciences, one of whom is the goddess of music.

There are various etymologies for “muse” and “music”.

Suffice it to say, however, that it is not sound, by itself, which makes “music.” It is the feeling of satisfaction that it invokes within the person receiving and perceiving the sound. It is the stirring of deeply felt emotions which constitutes music, and that separates it from noise. As with the muses themselves, music inspires. It brings forth beauty. It encourages the heart.

InSPIRation

From the inside out

Creation

Moves through you

Out into the world

You feel it in your body

Sensation

Vibration

Rings

Rattles

Roars

Harmony

Evoked

Alive!

It spurs on a deeper and richer experience. It touches and awakens your spirit, your soul.  Nineteenth century physician (and member of the “Fireside Poets”) Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. offered up this spiritual prescription:

“Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body.”

– Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

He also said that most of us go to our grave with our music still inside us. It is not about getting ready to live.  It’s about living fully expressed, before our time runs out.

So, as you embrace this time of year, I invite you to find some quiet moments to reflect on what you desire to bring out from the darkness into the light.  Is it a book?  Is it a composition of another sort?  Any other creative endeavor? A new way of showing up in the world?  In your community? In your relationships?

I’ll be doing the same.  I’ll let you know how it goes!

Wishing you and yours all the joys and blessings of the season.

For your consideration:

Get quiet, and reflect for a moment: When has a particular piece of music moved you?  What was it about it that touched your spirit, your soul?

Okay, your turn:

When has music inspired you? In what ways?  What about your own MUSE-ic inside you?  What within you is ready to be expressed?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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The beautiful essence of YOU!

“’To be or not to be?’ ~ That is the question.” –William Shakespeare

 

The Essence of YOU

There have been, of course, tomes written about the works of Shakespeare, and Hamlet in particular. I’ll not create another one here on the blog; but suffice it to say that in the play, Hamlet poses this “to be or not to be” question during one of the character’s now most famous soliloquies, and it refers primarily to his facing his own death.   There is much more to say about this aspect of the play. For purposes of this edition of Soul Notes, however, let’s explore the phrase in terms of “to be or not to be our authentic selves.”

To be or not to be our own true essence. It’s about returning home to ourselves.

Otherwise, in denying our true selves, we do indeed face a death of a different sort:  a creative death. Denying who you are means keeping yourself less than fully expressed.   It means dimming your light. It means pulling your soul into a tight ball, unto itself. That really does a disservice to yourself and to those around you. It takes its toll. You pay a high price. Self-expression, when repressed, makes for self-depression.

 

“You are all things. Denying, rejecting, judging or hiding from any aspect of your total being creates pain and results in a lack of wholeness.” -Joy Page

For example, maybe you find yourself no longer creating music, or even listening to music. When once you were the first person on the dance floor, now you’re suddenly hanging back in the shadows, affixed to your chair. Maybe you used to be the first to jump in line to sing karaoke? Or, you used to pick up a paintbrush, pastels or colored pencils and create works of art on a moment’s whim, purely for the enjoyment of it. Or, curling up in a well-lit corner to write poems, short stories, or other forms of prose was something you did on a regular basis. Now, perhaps you’re lucky if you can find a good pen that works?

This of course, also requires viewing ourselves as creative beings, by our very nature. Yes, you out there who when reading this, may be saying to yourself: “Oh, I don’t have a creative bone in my body.” You do have a creative bone. You do. Several!  You are creative. You are!

There’s also something to be said for fully be-ing, and not merely do-ing. Busy BEEness is not the same as BE-ingness! Buzzing around, appearing to look busy, often bears little if any resemblance to embracing your true self, and embodying your true essence, and being who you truly are. It often serves as a distraction, a substitute.

“Essence” comes from the same Latin root as “essential.” Your essence is essential to who you ARE. It’s what gives you your particular character. It is your distinctiveness. As with an essential oil, it is you, distilled down to your core. Sandalwood is not any more akin to frankincense or bergamot or peppermint than you are to someone other than yourself.

And, feel free to express yourself in all ways that feel good to you. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, why not? What’s stopping you? When I was about five years old, my older brothers and I would watch American Bandstand and Soul Train on television. The brothers would sit on the couch and make comments about the bands, the music, and which dancers they liked best.

For me, I couldn’t contain myself! A minute or two into each program, I was up in front of the TV dancing to nearly every song.  I envisioned myself right there on the set, groovin’ right along with the rest of the dancers. My brothers often rolled their eyes, groaned in feigned disapproval, and would ask me to move over to the side of the TV.  But, that didn’t stop me from expressing myself! I loved those shows, and I couldn’t wait to get up and dance.

Somewhere along the line, however, for me and for many of us, the “critics on the couch” take up more and more space in our psyches. If we let them.   I say, take back that power. Reclaim who you are.

It can be painful to dim your light. To hide your true essence. Wonder Woman’s super heroine powers were hidden under the cloak of her alter ego, Diana Prince. And, while fronting as Clark Kent, a reporter for The Daily Planet, Superman would wear his “S” under his street clothes. When called into action, he’d first need to duck into a phone booth or the office’s storage closet, to reveal his true identity!

You’re not Clark Kent. You’re not Diana Prince. Give yourself permission to be Superman or Wonder Woman. Claim it for yourself.

Be that.

Be you.

Not just some of the time.

All of the time.

Save the day.

Save yourself.

 

For your consideration:

Get quiet, and reflect for a moment: When have you felt most at-home, as your true self?

Okay, your turn:

How do you and your true essence show up in the world?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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Ode to the ol’ “comfort zone”

Comfort Zone/Discomfort Zone (Either/Or): Is it Really that Simple?

How many times have you heard or read something along the lines of: “To grow, you must always get and be outside your comfort zone”?

Personal development types often talk about how important it is to go outside your comfort zone.

There is definitely some validity to that, to a certain extent. Sometimes we stay static and hang on for dear life to the status quo even when we have or in spite of  having strong feelings to the contrary.   We may be yearning for a positive change in our lives, yet we stay stuck because stepping out of our usual routine feels scary, uncertain or even dreadfully painful.

Let’s break down the concept, however, a bit more. I’d say there’s a vital distinction to be made between what may or may not be within your comfort zone, and what resides within your alignment zone. Focusing solely on what is or isn’t within your comfort zone I’d say is too darn simplistic. “Change (solely) for change’s sake” — always, and in all ways, without scrutiny — is a rather compulsive, rudimentary and dare I say dumbed-down approach to spiritual growth.

Let’s dive further into this whole idea. Let’s fine-tune it.

Here are examples to help illustrate what I mean:

Let’s say that over the years, you’ve become comfortable in a relationship, or in your career (or even with regard to your living room furniture, for that matter!) Let’s say that you keep going along living your life with these people or things, etc. — keeping things as-is — keeping things “status quo” – so to speak, because well, it’s familiar. Surely, it is often easier to keep things the way they are, instead of risking them in exchange for the unknown.

What if, however, one or more of these situations no longer serve you, and are no longer in furtherance of your highest good? Or, what if they never were what your soul truly desired, and somehow you found yourself with these people or situations or things in your life? What if the relationship, the job, those home furnishings —whatever they may be– really don’t  “light you up?” Well, that’s a pretty good sign that even though they may be considered as being within your comfort zone (i.e., in terms of “hey, at least they’re familiar. I know what it is I’m getting”) — they may not be within your alignment zone.

In these situations, it IS in your best interest to stretch outside your comfort zone, and take the leap, with faith and trust, to make a healthy change. The good news is that the first step off the ledge is by far the scariest and the toughest. The more you do it, the more familiar THAT then becomes. You then have the experience of having done it (and you survived – yay!) Hey, what do you know, THAT (new thing) itself becomes less uncomfortable. That builds confidence, and satisfaction.

When A Situation Does Not Serve You or Your Highest Good

If you heard my interview from the Soul Shine Series, you’ll recall that I left the practice of law right in the middle of a recession, without another job lined up. I listened to my intuition that told me that being a civil litigator was anything but in alignment with whom I was meant to be in this world. Even though I had offers from other law firms back then, I made the conscious choice to take instead, a corporate job in legal sales, where I could find respite from the often 70-hour weeks and strain of contorting myself into what had really begun to feel out of alignment for me.

Despite the “good money” I was making as a lawyer, the conflict and lack of congruence with my authentic self that it required, was not in service of my highest good. Leaving the practice of law, and a high paying job before I had secured another one (I was steeped in law school debt too at the time), was definitely outside my comfort zone.   Alas, however, it was beautifully and soulfully rooted well within my alignment zone.

I’m not suggesting that this type of leap is right for everyone.  It may not have been right even for myself at another point in my life.  At that juncture, though, for me, it proved to be a very good choice. I’m forever grateful for making that decision to “jump ship”. I started that corporate job on July 1st of that year. On July 2nd, I found out that my father had died suddenly from a massive heart attack. Eight months after that, my dear brother died from suicide. I cannot even imagine what it would have been like for me to experience those deep back-to-back losses while still practicing law. My new boss and team at my new corporate job were blessedly supportive and deeply understanding. And, I now had a newfound, sacred space created for me from which to grieve.

A really key factor is deciding for yourself, from a place of self-respect and self-honor: What is and is not with your alignment zone. For more on how to get clear on what is in alignment for you and in congruence with your soul’s desires, go here.

“All the comforts of home”

Now, maybe that relationship, that job, or your favorite comfy chair, are in fact within your comfort zone and in alignment with your true, authentic self, and your soul’s true desires. Well, in that case, I say: Bravo! Brava! Congratulations! There’s no need then to force yourself to step outside either of these zones. There’s no reason to step blindly outside your comfort zone purely in the name of so-called “personal growth”.

It is not wise to live outside your comfort zone all the time. To do so, means running the risk of becoming addicted to change for change’s sake. You end up staying so busy trying out new things that you’ve left no room to cherish, savor, and delight in any of them! You run the risk of treading roughshod right over any opportunity to observe, reflect upon, and learn from the experiences.

It’s a matter of integrity

Ready to fine-tune this concept even more?   I’ve not really heard any gurus put it quite this way in the 20 years or so that I’ve been involved with personal transformation. And, when my own intuition brought it to my attention during the last year or so – it nearly knocked my fuzzy slippers off!

Okay, here it is –

It’s really important and often may be necessary, to venture outside your comfort zone if and only if  it stretches you in a life-enhancing, life-fulfilling way, for you (and not for anyone else). Allow yourself to make those distinctions on what is accordance with your own standards, and not judging by anyone else’s.

If stepping up and out of your comfort zone provides the personal growth you need to pursue your dreams and in furtherance of your soul’s desires, then that is what is within your alignment zone. And to that I say, full speed ahead!

If you’re yearning to become your full, 100% genuine, full-grade, authentic, YOU – that only you can be, and that the world NEEDS you to be – THEN, you beautiful SHINING LIGHT you – that is when you do step right up and out of your COMFORT ZONE, to FULFILL YOUR DESTINY!

If, however, something feels completely outside your alignment zone, do not allow yourself to be lured into stepping outside your comfort zone just so that you can say that “you’re growing”.   You may be simply growing what ends up being (for you, anyway) a patch of weeds, rising up from contaminated soil. When, instead, wouldn’t you rather create your own beautifully sacred and authentic garden?

It can be great to take an inspirational leap — but, just be careful what it is into that you’re leaping. You may be leaping into a fluid, soulfully infused river that is guiding and leading and taking you toward your divine destination. Or, you may be lured into a thrashing current of muck that ends up taking you way off-course, throwing you against the rocks, and catapulting you right out of your integrity and authenticity. Being out-of-integrity is in no way in furtherance of your divine purpose. It does not uplift you or anyone around you. It does not lead to higher consciousness.

Dare to buck the system, especially when it’s out of integrity for you, no matter how deceptively cloaked, and under the guise of “personal growth,” it may be!

Let your intuition be your guide. It knows the truth. It knows your truth, for you. For tips on invoking your intuition and conducting your own “gut checks” go here.

The beauty of support

I would encourage you to seek outside support along the way, as well.   It is essential to have support around you from loved ones and other kindred spirits who honor and replenish you along the way. Seeking and securing guidance from a trusted advocate, counselor, mentor, or other teacher can be hugely beneficial as well. We are not meant to do this all on our own.

Throughout your transformational journey, make your choices wisely and with care. Why? Because you’re worth it. Definitely worth it!

For your consideration:

Get quiet, and reflect for a moment: What is something right now that you truly and authentically desire, that is outside your comfort zone — and how would stretching outside that comfort zone bring you closer to your desired state? On the flip side, allow yourself to get clear on what one thing that may seem pressing for you right now — that, even if you were to go outside your comfort zone — simply would NOT be in alignment for you? What is something that if you were to pursue it, would simply feel completely out of integrity?

Okay, your turn:

What’s one true (and in-integrity) desire — that if you were to step outside your comfort zone and attempt — would completely rock your world in the best way possible? In contrast, what’s one thing – that even if you were to step outside your comfort zone and attempt – would end up making you feel out of alignment and ultimately as if you were a sell-out?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences by leaving a Reply in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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A sacred initiation

My recent initiation

Since JT (Justin Timberlake) has already brought sexy back, I’m bringing “sistren” back! According to the Oxford dictionary, both brethren and sistren shared common parlance until the 1600s, when the word brethren started to take over.  I say there’s plenty of room for both!

I joined a new (for me) sacred sisterhood this weekend. After nearly a year of study, on September 26, I, along with my sistren apprentices, received my formal initiation as a “Keeper of the Water” (Keeper).

As with many other types of initiations, we each took solemn vows and made sacred commitments. As our elder has so beautifully taught us, we have each now entered into a love-centered contract with the Divine.

And, it certainly doesn’t end there. With this initiation, it has truly just begun. And, will begin again. It’s creation. And, it’s rebirth. We are neither the first, nor the last of the Keepers. What prevails is the devotion to creating sacred space for, and holding, compassion and unconditional love. Love for ourselves, for each other, for Mother Earth, for Grandmother Moon, and for the grandmothers and angels who watch over us all.

We each have our own medicine to bring into our circles and in how we show up in our lives. It is ours to bring forward; ours to share. There is much healing to be done.

Initiations of Various Types

Initiations vary, of course, in terms of their specifics.   All initiations, though, tend to exact a certain demonstrated level of commitment and a meeting of specified requirements. And, what rings true throughout, is the sanctity of the occasion.

Some examples:

There is being knighted. There is priest hood, and priestess hood. Often handed down through the generations, there is the becoming a “keeper” of a sacred tradition, rite, or ritual.

There are sororities and fraternities. And there are fraternal and sororal orders.

While pursuing my undergraduate degree at the University of California, Berkeley, I was initiated into a leadership society known as The Order of the Golden Bear. Each initiate was nominated and then inducted at a formal ceremony.   Referred to as “Fellows” once initiated, members are to carry forth the Order’s charter and pledge to uphold the group’s mission and purpose.

Also while in college, I participated in the Catholic Church’s RCIA (Rite for Christian Initiation of Adults), whereby after a year of devotion and study, I joined the other catechumens to be initiated into the Church during a several hour ceremony at the Easter Vigil.  Once initiated, we began our year-long role as a Neophyte, and with that accepted and carried out our new duties. Our first act of service began that very evening, when we anointed each of the congregants with holy oil.

Fellowship

With my Keeper initiation and the others, I have experienced a sense of fellowship. My “fellow” (sistren!) Keepers and I have each fulfilled the specific requirements, and at the same time all underwent a shared experience as we proceeded though our apprenticeship as a group. Along with a certain comaraderie, we more deeply formed a spiritual bond, a sacred sisterhood. It became clear that in our new role, we were to be continuing a centuries’ long tradition which at one point had gone dormant, and has since been honorably and solemnly resurrected by our elder, our teacher.

May I get a witness

As with Ceremony, with Initiation comes an element of being witnessed. Other members of your initiate class join you as you receive your initiation. They observe your initiation and hold sacred space and compassion for you and what you’re accepting. Among other things, their witnessing serves as an acknowledgement of where you’ve been, and more importantly, where you are headed, as you step up into this next role.

It is in effect a rite of passage. I’ll leave the topic of rites of passage for further exploration perhaps at another time. For now, I invite you to allow the idea and experience of “being initiated” to resonate with you.

As a newly ordained Keeper of the Water, what it means for me is this:

I accept this new role and its responsibilities with reverence, dedication, and devotion. I vow to continue to practice all that I’ve learned, and to do my best to honor the traditions of the grandmothers, and of the sacred feminine.

When I stumble, I promise to stand up. And, to carry on. And, to continue to hold. Again. And again.

For your consideration:

For you, what does it mean to be initiated?

Okay, your turn:

Have you or a loved one ever been initiated?   If so, in what way did you or they perform certain duties or functions? What would you like others to know about that experience? Is there a role you’d like to step into, at this point in your life? If so, what would that be, and what is drawing you towards that next level, experience, or role?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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Feeling Familiar in a Strange Land: The Beauty of Belonging

THE BEAUTY OF BELONGING

What does it mean to feel that you “belong”?

This edition of Soul Notes is dedicated to the beneficial sense of belonging — from the standpoint of inclusion (and not exclusion). “Belonging to” — not in the sense of being subject to an outside force or group having power over, or ownership of, or “possession” of you or another. In this post, let’s consider the concept of “belonging to,” as coming from a place of equal footing.

A sense of “place,” of home, a feeling of familiarity

The beauty of belonging lies in the feeling of a common bond, identity, and shared experience.   It’s a feeling of togetherness. Unity. Each one an accepted member of the collective.

Most recently, a strong sense of belonging came up for me during two different kundalini yoga classes that I attended. One was during the Moksha Yoga Festival held at the Los Angeles Convention Center, and the other took place at a martial arts studio in Hollywood. The venues and the instructors were unique unto themselves. Yet there was also a beautiful commonality, and familiarity that I felt in both instances.

Ever since my early childhood, I have also felt a similar profound sense of “home” when attending a Catholic Mass.

And, as I’ve shared previously, as a participant in the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Family To Family group training, I definitely felt a deep sense of belonging there.

I invite you to consider whether these types of experiences ring true for you as well. What environments or groups allow you to feel most at home?

Sense of belonging…familiarity in a strange land

For me, it became apparent that the feeling of belonging, in all of these examples, stems from a sense of community – or common elements, shared by all or many who participate in the group’s activities. It’s a communal experience.

  • Kundalini yoga

Common Elements:

In my experience, kundalini yoga classes each start with the same opening chant, contain a kriya (or “set” of exercises and meditations) in the middle portion of the class, and close with the same resting pose and the same closing song.

The two kundalini yoga classes mentioned above took place over the course of two consecutive weekends, with each taught by a different master yogi and in a different location. Neither of these were my “usual class” that I have been attending regularly in my own neighborhood.

And, even though each yoga class offered a unique in-the-moment experience, there were nonetheless common elements that were so welcoming and felt so familiar. At both of these classes, I felt right at home. I knew what to expect, and I could “follow along” with the teacher’s instructions, even though these particular instructors, and the respective class environments, were new to me.

This is not to suggest that there’s little or no room for spontaneity in these classes. There is. There are hundreds of kriyas, for example, from which the instructor may select. And, the specific kriyas often do change from class to class.

What made these experiences so special for me, though, was the sense of peace and comfort I felt upon discovering that I could take a class pretty much anywhere, and always feel at home. My friend who had invited me to join her for the class in Hollywood agreed. She was trained in kundalini yoga in New York, but finds that she feels right at home in the California classes and pretty much anywhere. It’s as if, in any given room, during any given class, we are all speaking the same spiritual language. Beautiful!

  • Catholic Mass

Common Elements:

I remember, when as a teenager attending a Mass, it suddenly occurred to me that “oh, each Mass is always a re-creation of the Last Supper” – how amazing, and how profound, I thought at the time. I wasn’t baptized in the Church at that time (I would later partake in the RCIA – Rite for Christian Initiation of Adults), but I would come to appreciate how truly special Holy Communion (the Eucharist) is, and how integral it is to the Mass. It’s my understanding that a service doesn’t constitute a Mass unless there’s Holy Communion given. There are other common elements too, such as the Lord’s Prayer and the Sign (or Kiss) of Peace.

As I would later travel to other countries, I again felt that same sense of belonging. The word catholic itself even means “inclusive.” I can be in Spain, or Italy, or France, for example, and feel that same sense of familiarity and welcoming when attending Mass. I needn’t speak the local language; I speak the language of a Catholic congregant. And, it is universal. I know when to stand up, and when to kneel.  And, the common elements of the Eucharist, et cetera feel so wonderfully familiar to me. Again, there’s a sense of community, with one’s self, each other, and the divine. It’s one of my favorite aspects of traveling!

Why is a sense of belonging so important?

According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the social needs to be loved, accepted and to belong, fall smack dab in the middle, at level 3, of Maslow’s 5-level hierarchy. Abraham Maslow, PhD professed that as humans we continue to gravitate toward a higher and higher level of needs so as to maintain our motivation and our ever-elevating human experience. Once the basic needs of food, clothing and shelter, followed by security and safety are met, the social need to belong comes next.

In short, it’s really a matter of feeling accepted. Even though the environments may change, the familiarity, the feeling of “I’m at home here” prevails.

For your consideration: In this moment, reflect on those instances when you’ve felt most at home – when you knew in your heart that you were welcomed and accepted and that you truly belonged. What one thing could you do TODAY to bring that sense of belonging to the forefront?

Okay, your turn to share:

What does belonging mean to you? What are some of the indications that you know that you “belong”?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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Oh, to be the center of (loving) attention

Here’s to the unseen, the unheard…the silent warriors

For the unspoken ones, the quiet ones, the so-called “reliable” and “responsible” ones, this edition of Soul Notes is for you.

This is dedicated to those living with or having lived with a family member with a mental illness.   I would imagine similar experiences ring true in other trying situations in other types of family dynamics as well. With respect and reverence, I honor those, too.

Specifically, here, however, we continue what we started exploring in an earlier post where I shared that I had embarked on an intensive “Family to Family” training program delivered by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). I’ve completed that training, and have emerged hopefully with a deepened sense of grace and understanding.

From my own experiences, coupled with what I learned in the NAMI “Family to Family” course

My mother had her first “nervous breakdown” when I was seven. She is bipolar (or what they called back then manic depressive). By my teenage years, on more than one occasion I had witnessed her attempt to end her life. In my 20s, I experienced the downward spiral of my brother who had his own psychotic break and who did die by suicide.

When you’re a family member of someone living with a mental illness, the attention, the focus, the energy centers around that person. “Rightly so!,” you may be exclaiming. Indeed. Agreed.

The need to ascertain and ensure proper dosages of medication, the monitoring of moods, and riding the waves of ever-changing behavior — all require steadfast attention, energy and care.

The persons with the mental illness(es) often feel alone, isolated, and misunderstood. They experience severe pain, disorientation, and confusion. They suffer the pangs of unfair stigma, prejudice and ostracization. Absolutely, they need and deserve loving care and attention. (For a prior discussion regarding empathy for the mentally ill, please go here.)

Resources are created, collected, and distributed to the person or persons with the brain disorder. To the one “acting out.” To the erratic one. They have their own treatment plans, hospital wings and specialized medical personnel. They have their own support groups, etc. Again, rightly so.

But, what about the other family members who are not the ones with the brain disorder? The steady ones? The stalwart ones? The ones who bravely persevere amongst the turbulence and the mayhem? The ones who may have violence directed towards them, and who undergo stressful encounters with law enforcement and medical and paramedical personnel? Ah, there’s the rub, Shakespeare.

As an advocate for all  souls to be shining brightly, I pose this question:

How, then, to garner the attention, focus and care that YOU, as a family member, may also need?

Are your needs and desires to remain cast in the shadows, lost in all the chaotic mix that is, in a household or family structure centered around one or more members living with a brain disorder? I speak for the silent ones. The often overlooked ones. The often forgotten ones in this mix.   I take a stand for these souls. As does NAMI. NAMI’s Family to Family program is designed to support and improve the lives of family members affected by mental illness.  I applaud them, and other organizations like them, for their great work.

The Squeaky Wheel

There’s an American idiom that states in effect: “to the squeaky wheel goes the grease.” In other words, to smooth out the ride, to eradicate the noise, to silence the distraction, apply oil.

What if, however, there is no ‘noticeable’ squeak? As this philosophical question poses: “If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?” The answer is yes! The family members of a loved one with a mental illness are often the silent sufferers. The unsqueaky wheels DO need the grease (i.e., their own loving care and attention). As they are often the ones overlooked, that is all the more reason to pay them close heed.

Families with a mentally ill family member often cloak their experiences in secrecy. They bear the social stigma of having a “crazy” family member. They are deemed unstable-by-association. And, within their own families, the non mentally ill ones often feel and are in effect treated as if they are “invisible.”

Self-care and Support

It’s important for the family members to find healthy ways to take care of themselves, and that includes surrounding themselves with their own support system. Wonderfully, NAMI offers support groups not only for the ill persons, but for the family members as well.

As discussed in the Family to Family class, family members suffer their own unique burdens. The course classifies them into objective life burdens and the subjective burden of their own painful and often hidden, unexpressed feelings. The objective life burdens often include:

  • getting through crises with the ill family member while maintaining the needs of the other family members
  • inevitable family conflicts due to different coping styles and perspectives on how best to handle certain situations
  • finding a way to balance work or school responsibilities with treatment and care responsibilities
  • financial concerns and plans for future care
  • being “menaced” by someone you love
  • taking on dual or multiple roles within the family
  • having to grow up too fast
  • worried that you will get the illness, too
  • lack of an understanding peer group

And, again, the subjective burdens are the often unexpressed feelings and hurts associated with being a family member of someone who is mentally not well.

NAMI Graduation

Which brings me to our graduation from the NAMI Family to Family course. On a recent Saturday, I joined my twenty or so classmates in a joyous celebration. Our weeks of emotionally draining at times, uplifting at times, and overall deeply bonding time together, came to a close.

We had our own graduation ceremony. Okay, so there were no actual caps and gowns, but someone did play “Pomp and Circumstance” from her smart phone! And, we each walked up to the front of the room, and received our Certificates and some came complete with a gold seal for Perfect Attendance. Without exception, each person cheered for one another as we accepted our ‘diplomas’. We had our pictures taken with our instructors, and as a group.

We were the center of attention. We weren’t the squeaky wheels. And, we didn’t need to be. We were seen, heard, respected, appreciated and loved — for who we are and what we have each experienced. And, it felt great.

3 Suggestions to Consider:

I leave you with three suggestions to consider and to incorporate into your lives should you know of a colleague, friend, or other loved one who may be experiencing hidden, locked or unexpressed feelings as a result of living with someone with a mental illness:

  1. From a place of compassion and understanding, let them know you are available to listen, without judgment, and are open to hearing about their perspective and their experiences.
  2. Allow them to express their fear, doubt, anxiety, nervousness, frustration, anger, shame, guilt or any other telling aspects of their experiences to whatever extent they feel comfortable. This is true for adults, and especially true for children – who may need loving encouragement and reassurance that it is safe to express their feelings, and that their feelings are indeed valid.
  3. Go ahead and dote on them once in awhile! Allow them to be the center of your loving attention. Allow them to take a break, have a little fun, and let loose for a change. Life need not always be so heavy. They will likely savor every bit of those precious moments.

So, here’s to the silent brave ones! Carry on! We see you. We hear you. We care about you. You matter!

Okay, your turn:

What experiences have you had with someone whose family member has a mental illness? If you are a family member of someone with a mental illness, what one thing would you like others to understand?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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