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It’s the journey, not the destination. Or, is it?

I’ve joined a writer’s circle that meets on Monday nights in Santa Monica, California. At the end of the evening, we break into small groups. Last week, we were given the following question to answer and to share. We went around the table, and each of us spoke. The question posed was this: Would you rather drive or fly to Las Vegas? Santa Monica is approximately 280 miles from Las Vegas. It typically takes several hours by car and about 45 minutes in the air by commercial airline.

Among the eight of us seated around the table in our small group, there really wasn’t a consensus. A few were able to say, “it depends” (on whom I am traveling with, mostly!) Even among the definitely drive or definitely fly “camps,” there were nonetheless differences of opinion as to why one mode surpasses another.

As with most topics on the blog, with this edition of Soul Notes, let’s explore the literal as well as the figurative–this time, with regard to journeys and destinations.

Often times, we hear this adage, or some derivation thereof: “It’s not the destination; it’s the journey.” In other words, it’s the path taken, and not the end state, that holds the real value or “merit.” If that were always true, however, then why select any particular destination?

What may be equally as beneficial is this: getting yourself as efficiently as possible to a particular destination, precisely because it IS the destination that provides what you’re most desiring. In the example above, the person may wish to fly directly to Las Vegas to get right to the business at hand – that is, soaking up the full Vegas experience. “Viva Las Vegas,” as Elvis would say! Sometimes, you simply want to get there.

Do you enjoy car rides? How about air travel? Either way, for children, for example, it’s often what seems like a never-ending journey from one location to another. Incessant pleas include: “How much farther?” and “How much longer?” Or, simply, again it’s all about this: “When are we going to get there?” Once you get there, that’s when you can enjoy all that the location has to offer. (I realize that, as an intended destination, Las Vegas may not even be on your wish list. If so, of course, feel free to insert your own destination of choice!) For you, it may be any number of places. And, for children, it may include Disneyland or Magic Mountain, or some other world of wonderment.

So, what’s the common thread here? The EXPERIENCE.

Sometimes it’s the destination itself that holds the key to your best experience.  What you’re seeking is “housed” in the location, to be enjoyed once you arrive. Other times, it’s the “getting there” — the journey itself – that provides all the good juice.

Road trip! Getting our kicks on Route 66

Several years back, a friend of mine and I headed out from the Santa Monica pier, and along Route 66 (or what’s left of it), driving my convertible, often with the top down on the car.   For us, it was definitely the journey rather than the destination which mattered most. We agreed that we would cover about 850 miles of the Route’s 2300 miles (the full length of Route 66 runs between Los Angeles and Chicago) – and traveled out to Santa Fe, New Mexico and back.

We selected a destination based on the number of days we desired to set aside for the trip, and to have a place to aim the car. For this trip, though, for us, the genesis and primary focus and intention was to experience Route 66 itself – the “Mother Road” – “America’s Highway.”

We took our time and made many stops along the way. Part of the adventure was seeing which sections of Route 66 remained. There really isn’t any clear “route” per se anymore. There are road signs in various places, indicating that you’re on Route 66; but, the route starts and stops, and veers off and back again in no particular pattern or with any discernible logic.

“Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” –Helen Keller

As a kid, on my bedroom wall I had a poster with this saying on it. It served as a wonderful visual reminder and provided me many an inspiration!

As with many road trips, it was the dappling of tiny towns, and roadside attractions, and people we met along the route that provided the real essence of the journey. We stopped for coffee at the Bagdad Café (where they filmed the movie of the same name), chatting at length with the waitress there. And we toured the location where a giant meteor created a huge hole in the desert. There are many other experiences from that trip, too, of course, perhaps to be shared at another time. Here’s one more:

In Oatman, Arizona, we slowed the car down to a crawl. As we pulled up to this two-block town, we were greeted by a band of burros. History has it that these animals are part of a long lineage of pack mules dating back to the town’s gold mining days. And, yes, giant tumble weeds did come tumbling through as our car kicked up puffs of desert dust. I couldn’t get the theme song from that Clint Eastwood movie, “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” out of my head. A man in a leather vest and cowboy hat tossed open the swinging wooden doors from the local saloon on our right as we drove past. He stopped short of the street, looked out at us, and maintained his gaze from left to right, as we continued driving on through the town and off on the next leg of our journey.

As with our own spiritual journeys as well, it helps to slow down. The experiences and the lessons come from the journey. Indeed. Take time to savor the moments, partake in the experiences, and cherish the making of memories. It’s the “roadside attractions” that provide some of life’s richest moments. Let’s not miss them by flying through!

With that, I’ll close with these words from a great master:

“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” -Confucius

Okay, your turn:

What matters most to you, the destination or the journey? Upon what factors do your choices depend?

I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2016 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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“So, this guy walks into a bar…”

A surprising (or, maybe not so surprising) conversation!

In this edition of Soul Notes, I bring to you a tale of two (spiritual) seekers.

After a networking event that wrapped up while rush hour was still in full force in Los Angeles on a recent Friday, I decided to wait out the traffic by taking a seat at the hotel lobby bar, and get a bite to eat. As I munched on my fish tacos, in walks a young man who takes the seat to my left, and orders a beer. We get to talking, and quickly I discover that he is visiting from England, and I share with him that I’m a “local.”

Early in the conversation, it becomes clear that this is not going to be any ordinary chit-chat. Way beyond anything as mundane, trite, or unoriginal as “do you come here often,” he turns to me and, in earnest, instead asks me this question: “Are you fulfilled and content?”

A not-so-usual question

I paused for a moment, let his question land, reflected on my answer, and said: “Yes. I am.”

What a wonderful question, I realized. What a blessing, as well – to be able to answer in the affirmative – I realized, right there, in that very moment. I must say that I didn’t necessarily know, at the surface level, that “Yes” would be my answer. A beautiful feeling of acknowledgement and gratitude bubbled up for me, however, as I realized that my answer was true – my truth – and that it arose from my inner knowing.

Each of us, of course, has our own story, and is traveling on one’s own path. And, I suppose we’re never truly “done” with the pursuit of the answers to life’s questions, meeting its many challenges and facing the various tests along the way. There have been many times in my life when I would have answered this question with an unequivocal, “No.”

I was moved, really, by so many aspects of our little interchange – including:

Wow, even for a longtime friend or loved one to have asked me that question would have been a bit unusual, let alone hearing it from someone who up until just a few minutes earlier had been a complete stranger.

How intriguing, I pondered, that he didn’t ask me if I was “happy.”

Fulfilled and content – now those words, then and now, too – resonate much more deeply with me. They carry with them much more gravitas and come across with much more texture to them.

There was a rich quality to his question. And, it drew both of us into the conversation at an even deeper level. It brought the conversation, dare I say, to a soul level.

Spiritual Seekers Unite

He also asked me if I considered myself to be religious. Jeepers, how did we get into this topic of discussion so freely and effortlessly? The way he asked it, the question didn’t seem intrusive, nor did it feel at all confrontational. While certainly having had my own experiences with formalized religion over the years, I would say that mostly I consider myself more of a spiritual seeker. I have been one for some 20 years or so, at least in terms of my conscious awareness of that term. (I remember reading Elizabeth Lesser’s book, “The Seeker’s Guide: Making Your Life a Spiritual Adventure,” and that title drew me in, for sure. I devoured that book and absorbed many of its teachings. To this day, it sits on a nightstand in my guest room, for visitors to enjoy.)

Quickly, I realized that he too was a spiritual seeker.

He shared with me that he had what he termed a rather strict, dogmatic, fundamentalist religion thrust upon him, which caused him great discontent. He told me that he has since left that religion. It was not easy, he said – but, he couldn’t remain in a religion that seemed to leave no room for interpretation or free expression. He did say, however, that he realizes that we are all here for a “greater purpose,” and that we are all part of a “bigger picture.”

The conversation then turned to our mutual love of astronomy and telescopes.   With his having revealed to me that he was from London, I shared with him my trip from a few years ago, when I headed up with a friend to the Royal Observatory. I was pleased to hear that he had previously visited Los Angeles’s own observatory up at Griffith Park.   This conversation just kept getting more and more interesting! We tied the cosmos to our own spiritual adventures, and we reflected on the wide range of possibilities.

I suddenly realized that we hadn’t yet really formally “met.” I asked him his name, and he introduced himself as Richard, to which I quipped that that seemed to be such an English name and a regal one at that. He smiled at my not-so-veiled attempt to be somewhat learned and okay, maybe a bit cheeky.

I could tell, however, that he really wasn’t particularly satisfied with his current life – and that seemingly he had been pondering for himself whether he was indeed feeling fulfilled and content — and that the answer was, not really.

Now that he had removed himself from what he felt were the tight reins of that one overbearing religious group, he wasn’t sure what was next for him. If it wasn’t that, then what was it he was seeking, instead? He’s still determining that for himself, he confided.

“I hereby declare tomorrow as ’Richard’s Day’”

He mentioned that he had the next day, Saturday, completely schedule-free before he would be heading back to the United Kingdom on Sunday. As he seemed to be feeling rather glum, I offered him an idea. I said: “Well, that’s perfect then, because tomorrow is “’Richard’s Day.’” I felt compelled to declare it so. Why not? Who needs to rely on the greeting card companies to designate which days we celebrate? Okay, so he did look at me a tad quizzically, but he soon warmed up to the prospect. We explored ways that he may wish to spend the day, on his terms.   “You get to choose, you know, right?” “Yes,” he agreed – and his mood seemed to brighten.

As I got up to leave and started heading back out to my car, I left him with this:

“Tomorrow morning, I’ll be envisioning you starting out on your big adventure, spending YOUR day as you like! It’s gonna be great!”

Okay, your turn:

Would you consider yourself to be “fulfilled and content”? And, what if you designated tomorrow as YOUR day? How would you choose to spend it? I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the Comments section, below. Soul-to-soul!

© 2015 Lori A. Noonan. All Rights Reserved.
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